Psychological Counselling
Feeling Fed Up of Life
Feeling Fed Up of Life
There are many reasons for hating this world. There are some people who dislike this transient world and long for that which is with Allaah of reward, and who love to meet Allaah. Hence some of the salaf said: "The gift of the believer is death." For he detests this world and his heart is attached to the Hereafter. Yet despite his dislike for this world, he carries out his duties towards Allaah and His slaves, and he strives to do good as much as he can, in accordance with the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning):
"And worship your Lord until there comes unto you the certainty (i.e. death)"
[al-Hijr 15:99]
And there are some people who detest this world, not because of the Hereafter, but because they think that their share of it is very little, and that others are better off then them. Undoubtedly this is a kind of discontent with the will and decree of Allaah, for Allaah is the One Who bestows blessings and distributes provisions, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And if Allaah were to enlarge the provision for His slaves, they would surely rebel in the earth, but He sends down by measure as He wills. Verily, He is, in respect of His slaves, the Well‑Aware, the All‑Seer (of things that benefit them)"
[al-Shoora 42:27]
Some people hate this world because they have been faced with a great deal of trial, stress and exhaustion in it. Undoubtedly these people do not understand the true nature of this world. This world is the realm of striving and trial, the realm of stress and exhaustion, especially for the righteous believer, who encounters all kinds of trials by means of which Allaah expiates his sins and raises him in status.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Verily, We have created man in toil"
[al-Balad 90:4]
"Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: 'We believe, and will not be tested. And We indeed tested those who were before them. And Allaah will certainly make (it) known (the truth of) those who are true, and will certainly make (it) known (the falsehood of) those who are liars, (although Allaah knows all that before putting them to test)"
[al-Ankaboot 29:2-3]
"Allaah will not leave the believers in the state in which you are now, until He distinguishes the wicked from the good. Nor will Allaah disclose to you the secrets of the Ghayb (Unseen), but Allaah chooses of His Messengers whom He wills. So believe in Allaah and His Messengers. And if you believe and fear Allaah, then for you there is a great reward"
[Aal Imraan 3:179]
"And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As‑ Saabiroon (the patient).
Who, when afflicted with calamity, say: "Truly, to Allaah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return."
They are those on whom are the Salawaat (i.e. who are blessed and will be forgiven) from their Lord, and (they are those who) receive His Mercy, and it is they who are the guided ones"
[al-Baqarah 2:155-157]
Remember how the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was tested. His people showed enmity towards him, and the closest of people to him resisted him. Some people slandered him, others persecuted him. He was thrown out of his home and was subjected to a harsh boycott. The kuffaar gathered together to kill him, and his wife Khadeejah (may Allaah be pleased with her) died at the most difficult time. He would go for a month or two at a time without eating anything but dates and water. All of this happened even though he was the Prophet of Allaah, and His Messenger, the one to whom Allaah entrusted His Revelation. All of this happened even though he is the owner of the position of praise and glory (al-maqaam al-mahmoud) and the Cistern (al-hawd) to which his ummah will come (on the Day of Resurrection). All of this happened even though his sins, past and future, had been forgiven.
So what about us, with all our sins and shortcomings?
I advise you to do the following:
Firstly: make a lot of duaa, calling upon Allaah, and seek to draw close to Him by different kinds of worship, such as praying, giving zakaah, fasting and so on.
Beseech Allaah to take away what is in your heart (of sorrow etc) and to grant you relief. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Those who believed (in the Oneness of Allaah — Islamic Monotheism), and whose hearts find rest in the remembrance of Allaah verily, in the remembrance of Allaah do hearts find rest"
[al-Rad 13:28]
"Verily, those who are Al-Muttaqoon (the pious), when an evil thought comes to them from Shaytaan (Satan), they remember (Allaah), and (indeed) they then see (aright)"
[al-Araaf 7:201]
Secondly: Understand that whatever Allaah decrees for His believing slave is all good. No matter how difficult your life may become, to Allaah belong all things in the heavens and the earth. So set things straight between yourself and Allaah, and Allaah will suffice you against having any need of people.
Thirdly: Your depression and tiredness may be because of something that you have missed out on and not acquired or achieved. In that case you should know how often a person has pursued something, not realizing that in it lay his doom; and how often has a person grieved for missing out on something he wanted, but he does not know that had he attained it, it would have spelled loss in both his spiritual and worldly affairs. So accept the will and decree of Allaah, and seek the help of Allaah, and do not feel helpless.
Fourthly: Check your heart and mind, and examine your relationship with Allaah thoroughly, because a person may be denied provision because of sins that he commits.
Fifthly: You may have some personal or family problems; the way to solve these problems is by prioritizing them. Seek the help of Allaah (first and foremost), then the help of experienced people to solve these problems, and resolve these issues.
Sixthly: remember that the most sorely tried of all people were the Prophets, then the next best and the next best.
It is proven in al-Musnad from the hadeeth of Musab ibn Sad that his father said: I said: O Messenger of Allaah, which of the people are most sorely tested? He said: "The Prophets, then the righteous, then the next best, then the next best of people. A man will be tested according to his level of religious commitment. If there is some solidness in his religious commitment, he will be more sorely tested, and if there is some weakness in his religious commitment the test will be lightened for him. A man will continue to be tested until he walks upon the face of the earth with no sin on him." Musnad al-Imam Ahmad, no. 1481. Shaykh Shuayb al-Arnaoot said: its isnaad is hasan. And it was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami, no. 992.
Seventhly: Persist in praying for forgiveness and in worshipping. That is better for you than all the worldly steps you can take, no matter how great and how many they are. This will also relieve your worries.
It was narrated in some reports that whoever persists in praying for forgiveness, Allaah will grant him a way out from every worry and hardship and will grant him provision from sources he never thought of.
So persist in worshipping Allaah, and act in accordance with the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning):
"And worship your Lord until there comes unto you the certainty (i.e. death)"
[al-Hijr 15:99]
"And strain not your eyes in longing for the things We have given for enjoyment to various groups of them (polytheists and disbelievers in the Oneness of Allaah), the splendour of the life of this world, that We may test them thereby. But the provision (good reward in the Hereafter) of your Lord is better and more lasting"
[Ta-Ha 20:131]
May Allaah help us and you to do and say that which is right.
And Allaah knows best.
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