On our journey towards handling the problem of sexual desires that embitter the life of many Muslim young men, let us discuss an important issue that will help you release yourself from the captivity of sexual desires, namely, "closing the open doors”.
Here, the words “open doors” stand for everything that is related to sexual desire and sins, and for the things that can lure you to return to them once more. Hence, your sincere repentance and honest determination to abandon such sins requires making haste to close these doors, which include the satellite dish, internet, magazines, and other remnants of that past.
Taking this important decision requires a moment of truthfulness with yourself, because you must get rid of all that can take you back to your past, just as you have got rid of your past itself.
You must take the decision to leave the swamps of sin for the gardens of obedience and closeness to Allaah The Exalted, like the one who killed a hundred people and then Allaah The Exalted admitted him to Paradise due to his sincere repentance.
Take the decision to get rid of everything that reminds you of the dismal past, and that supports and gives power to your devil over you.
These decisions require taking the following steps:
1- Tear up all the immoral magazines that you keep. Then remove the pictures that are hung on the walls of your room and replace them with posters of Hadeeths (narrations) and things that remind you of Allaah The Almighty. You could also put up pictures of natural scenery.
2- Destroy video tapes, CDs or films that you keep on your PC by deleting them, and replace them with religious or scientific lectures and materials.
3- Purify your PC from any pornographic sites and then force yourself not to return to these sites by installing anti-porn software on your PC to block any pornographic sites.
4- You must immediately sever your relationship/s, if you have any, with girls, and you must erase their phone numbers that you keep.
These steps will not be hard to take as long as you have a good intention and strong determination, as Ibn Al-Qayyim 
said in Al-Fawaa’id,
“Whoever abandons habits for the sake of other than Allaah The Almighty, will surely face difficulty. However, whoever abandons habits for the sake of Allaah The Almighty sincerely from his heart; he will not find any difficulty in abandoning it except at first. (This initial difficulty) is to test if one is sincere and truthful. If he endures this difficulty for a short time, it will turn into pleasure. Ibn Seereen said, ‘I heard Shurayh swear by Allaah; no slave of Allaah abandons something for the sake of Allaah and feels a sense of loss.’ It is said, ‘Whoever abandons anything for the sake of Allaah, He will compensate him with what is better.’ Of course, compensation is of different kinds and the best is to be compensated by Allaah with His love, and the heart’s tranquility, satisfaction, strength, activity, happiness, and contentment.”
Thus, be patient, because the sweetness of good health enables one to endure the bitterness of medicine.
Ramadhaan is the month of patience; and Paradise is the reward of patience. Allaah The Almighty Says (what means):
• {And seek help through patience and prayer, and indeed, it is difficult except for the humbly submissive [to Allaah]. Who are certain that they will meet their Lord and that they will return to Him.}[Quran 2:45-46]
• {O you who have believed, seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allaah is with the patient.} [Quran 2:153]
Commenting on the last verse, Mujaahid said, “Patience in this verse means fasting. That is why Ramadhaan is called the month of patience. Therefore, both fasting and prayer are firmly connected in this verse, since fasting curbs desire and makes one abstinent regarding this worldly life, while prayer inspires humbleness and submission, removes arrogance and encourages love for the Hereafter.”
It is narrated through an authentic Hadeeth (narration) that the Prophet 
said: “Fast the month of patience and three days each month…”
Ramadhaan is the month of patience as the person who observes fasting is patient regarding acts of obedience and avoiding acts of disobedience. He abstains from the permissible things he used to enjoy out of obedience to Allaah The Almighty and in fulfillment of piety. Meanwhile, he stops himself from doing acts of disobedience and forces himself to do many righteous acts which bring one closer to Allaah The Almighty, such as observing the voluntary night prayers, giving in charity, maintaining kinship ties, providing food for the needy and bearing the suffering of hunger and thirst.
It is also the month of Jihaad (striving in the cause of Allaah The Almighty), and Jihaad is a form of patience. The Prophet conducted two battles during the month of Ramadhaan, the ever greatest battles: the Battle of Badr and the Conquest of Makkah.
The Companions 
realized that Ramadhaan is the month of patience. They showed great patience in bearing the responsibility of calling to Allaah The Almighty, performing Jihaad, obeying Allaah The Almighty, avoiding acts of disobedience and being satisfied with the decree of Allaah. The Prophet as well as the Companions used to reach the highest degree of patience during the month of Ramadhaan, which is the month of patience.
Have we learnt this lesson from observing the fast and the night voluntary prayers during the month of Ramadhaan?
The patient will be given their reward without account:
Allaah The Exalted made the reward of good deeds well-known, all having the same result, Saying (what means): {Whoever comes [on the Day of Judgment] with a good deed will have ten times the like thereof [to his credit]} [Quran 6:160]
In another verse, He made the reward of charity for the sake of Allaah even greater, Saying (what means): {The example of those who spend their wealth in the way of Allaah is like a seed [of grain] which grows seven spikes; in each spike is a hundred grains. And Allaah multiplies [His reward] for whom He wills. And Allaah is All-Encompassing and Knowing.}[Quran 2:261]
Nevertheless, He made the reward of the patient without account, Saying (what means):
• {Indeed, the patient will be given their reward without account.} [Quran 39:10]
• {And whoever is patient and forgives - indeed, that is of the matters [requiring] determination.} [Quran 42:43]
It was said that the patient person in the first verse means those who fast, for in an authentic Hadeeth, the Prophet narrated that Allaah The Almighty Says: “Fasting is for Me and I give reward for it…” [Al-Bukhaari] Here the reward of fasting is not determined, unlike the case with patience, the reward of which was determined.
The reward of the patient is Paradise:
Allaah The Almighty informed us that His angels confer peace upon the patient in Paradise due to their patience in the worldly life. Allaah The Almighty Says (what means):
• {And the angels will enter upon them from every gate, [saying], "Peace be upon you for what you patiently endured.”} [Quran 13:23-24]
• {And [He] will reward them for what they patiently endured [with] a garden [in Paradise] and silk [garments].} [Quran 76:12]
• {Those will be awarded the Chamber for what they patiently endured, and they will be received therein with greetings and [words of] peace. Abiding eternally therein. Good is the settlement and residence.} [Quran 25:75-76]
Abu Moosa Al-Ash‘ari 
narrated that the Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi w sallam, said: “When a person’s child dies, Allaah The Almighty Says to His Angels, ‘Have you taken the child of My slave?’ They say, ‘Yes.’ He Says, ‘Have you taken the apple of his eye?’ They say, ‘Yes.’ He Says, ‘What did My slave say?’ They say, ‘He praised You and said “Innaa lillaahi wa inna ilayhi raaji’oon (Verily to Allaah we belong and to Him we shall return).’ Allaah Says, ‘Build for My slave a house in Paradise and call it the house of praise.’” [At-Tirmithi, Ahmad and Ibn Hibbaan] [Al-Albaani: Hasan]
Anas narrated that the Messenger of Allaah said: “Allaah The Almighty Says: When I afflict My slave in his two beloveds (i.e. afflicting him with blindness) and he shows patience, I Will Compensate him for his two eyes with Paradise.” [Al-Bukhaari and Al-Albaani: Saheeh]
The wording of another narration reads: “Allaah The Almighty Says: When I take the two dear things (i.e afflict his eyes with blindness) of My slave in this worldly life, his reward from Me will be Paradise.” [At-Tirmithi] [Al-Albaani: Saheeh]
Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Messenger of Allaah said: “Allaah The Almighty Says, 'Whosoever his two beloveds I take (i.e. afflicted his eyes with blindness), yet he shows patience and hopes for My reward, I shall be satisfied with no less reward for him than Paradise.” [At-Tirmithi] [Al-Albaani: Saheeh]
‘Abdullaah ibn ‘Umar narrated that the Messenger of Allaah said: “Allaah The Almighty is not satisfied with a reward less than Paradise for His believing slave when He takes his dearest one from among the inhabitants of this worldly life, yet he shows patience and hopes for His reward.” [Abu Daawood] [Al-Albaani: Hasan]
Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Messenger of Allaah said:“Allaah The Almighty Says: I Have no reward other than Paradise for My believing slave who (remains patient) and hopes for My reward when I take his dearest person from among the inhabitants of the worldly life.” [Al-Bukhaari]
‘Ataa’ ibn Abi Rabaah said, “Ibn ‘Abbaas said to me, 'Shall I show you a woman of the people of Paradise?' I said, 'Yes.' He said, 'This black woman came to the Prophet and said, 'I get attacks of epilepsy and my body becomes uncovered; please invoke Allaah for me.' The Prophet said (to her): 'If you wish I could invoke Allaah to cure you, or if you wish, be patient and you will obtain Paradise.' She said, 'I will be patient,' and added, 'but I become uncovered, so please invoke Allaah for me that I may not become uncovered.' So, he invoked Allaah for her and she did not become uncovered again.'” [Al-Bukhaari and Ahmad]
‘Attaa’ ibn Yasaar narrated that the Messenger of Allaah said:“When a slave (of Allaah) falls ill, Allaah sends him two angels and Says to them, ‘See what he will say to his visitors?’ If he praises Allaah and glorifies Him when they come to him, they will inform Allaah of that, and indeed He knows best. Thereupon, Allaah Says, ‘It is due upon Me for My slave if I cause him to die (of his illness) to admit him to Paradise, and to replace him with flesh better than his flesh and blood better than his blood and forgive his misdeeds if I cause him to recover.’” [Al- Bukhaari; Al-Albaani classed it as Hasan by virtue of corroborating narrations]
In ‘Udat As-Saabireen, Ibn Al-Qayyim quoted Imaam Ahmad
as saying, “Allaah The Almighty mentioned patience in the Quran in ninety places.”
Here I will mention the various contexts in which patience was mentioned:
First: The command to be patient; Allaah The Almighty Says (what means):
• {And be patient, [O Muhammad], and your patience is not but through Allaah.} [Quran 16:127]
• {And be patient, [O Muhammad], for the decision of your Lord.} [Quran 52:48]
• {O you who have believed, be patient and endure and remain stationed and fear Allaah that you may be successful.} [Quran 3:200]
Second: Forbidding the opposite of patience; Allaah The Almighty Says (what means):
• {And do not be impatient for them.} [Quran 46:35]
• {So do not weaken and do not grieve…} [Quran 3:139]
• {And be not like the companion of the fish…} [Quran 68:48]
In general, every forbidden thing is the opposite of patience that is commanded.
Third: Making success contingent on patience; Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {O you who have believed, be patient and endure and remain stationed and fear Allaah that you may be successful.} [Quran 3:200]
In the verse, success was made contingent on the mentioned matters.
Fourth: Informing of the multiplied reward of those who are patient; Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {Indeed, the patient will be given their reward without account.} [Quran 39:10]
Sulaymaan ibn Al-Qaasim said, “Each good deed has a known reward except patience. Allaah The Exalted Says (what means): {Indeed, the patient will be given their reward without account.} It is like flowing water.”
Fifth: Leadership in religion is made contingent upon patience and certainty in Allaah; Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {And We made from among them leaders guiding by Our command when they were patient and [when] they were certain of Our signs.} [Quran 32:24]
With patience and certainty, one obtains leadership in religion.
Sixth: Allaah The Almighty is with the patient; Allaah The Exalted Says (what means): {Allaah is with the patient.} [Quran 2:153]
Abu ‘Ali Ad-Daqqaaq said, “The patient won the honor of both worlds because they won the advantage that Allaah is with them.”
Seventh: Those who are patient are given three things together from Allaah The Almighty, which are not available for others: His blessings, mercy and guidance. Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {But give good tidings to the patient, Who, when disaster strikes them, say, "Indeed we belong to Allaah, and indeed to Him we will return." Those are the ones upon whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy. And it is those who are the [rightly] guided.} [Quran 2:155-157]
When one of the righteous predecessors was offered condolences for a disaster which afflicted him, he said, “How could I not be patient when Allaah has promised me three things for patience, each one is better than this world and what is in it.”
Eighth: Allaah The Almighty made patience a means for seeking help and support; He Says (what means): {And seek help through patience and prayer.} [Quran 2:45]
This means that a person who is not patient is neither supported nor helped.
Ninth: Allaah The Almighty made victory contingent upon patience and observing consciousness of Allaah The Almighty. He Says (what means):{Yes, if you remain patient and conscious of Allaah and the enemy come upon you [attacking] in rage, your Lord will reinforce you with five thousand angels having marks [of distinction].} [Quran 3:125]
The Prophet therefore, said: “Know that victory is with patience.”
Tenth: Allaah The Almighty made patience and fear of Him a great means of protection from the cunning and plotting of the enemies. They are the greatest of all refuges. Allaah The Almighty Says (what means):{And if you are patient and fear Allaah, their plot will not harm you at all.}[Quran 3:120]
Eleventh: Allaah The Almighty Says that His angels greet the patient in Paradise with peace due to their patience; He, the Exalted, Says (what means): {And the angels will enter upon them from every gate, [saying], "Peace be upon you for what you patiently endured. And excellent is the final home."} [Quran 13:23-24]
Twelfth: Allaah The Almighty allowed the patient to punish with an equivalent of that with which they were harmed, then He gave an asserted oath that showing patience is better. Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {And if you punish [an enemy, O believers], punish with an equivalent of that with which you were harmed. But if you are patient - it is better for those who are patient.} [Quran 16:126]
The Arabic equivalent of the verse has many signs indicating assertion and affirmation of the oath.
Thirteenth: Allaah The Almighty made forgiveness and great reward the consequence of patience and righteous deeds; He Says (what means):{Except for those who are patient and do righteous deeds; those will have forgiveness and great reward.} [Quran 11:11]
Fourteenth: Allaah The Almighty considered patience over affliction and disasters one of the matters which require determination. Actually, determination is required over the noblest and greatest of deeds. Allaah The Almighty Says (what means):
• {And whoever is patient and forgives - indeed, that is of the matters [requiring] determination.} [Quran 42:43]
• {And be patient over what befalls you. Indeed, [all] that is of the matters [requiring] determination.} [Quran 31:17]
Take the decision to get rid of everything that reminds you of the dismal past, and that supports and gives power to your devil over you.
