The secrets of patience

The meaning of Sabr 
In the Arabic language, sabr means ‘to hold fast’ ‘cease,’ or ‘choke’. For example, in Bedouin Arabic, to say “one has been killed by sabr,” means one was choked to death. Allaah the Most High Says (what means): “And keep yourself patient [by being] with those who call upon their Lord in the morning and the evening, seeking His countenance…” [Quran 18: 28]. Sabr in this verse means to ‘hold to.’
Thus sabr means to hold one’s self from anxiety (jaza') and anger (tasakhkhut), to hold one’s tongue from complaint, and to hold one’s body from disgraceful movements.

http://www.learningquranonline.comIt is of three types: Patience in obeying Allaah the Most High (namely, perseverance), patience in avoiding Allaah’s disobedience (namely, resolve), and patience in Allaah’s tests. The first two of these are related to voluntary acts, over which we as humans have control. The last pertains to what happens to us (by Allaah’s Decree) wherein we have no choice. The patience of the Prophet Yousuf 
I have heard Ibn Taymiyyah  say: [The Prophet] Yousuf’s patience in resisting the temptation of the minister’s wife was higher than his patience regarding his brothers’ throwing him into the well and separating him from his father, for the latter happened to him without his choice. In such cases, a servant of Allaah has no option but patience. But his perseverance in avoiding the seduction (of the minister’s wife) involved his choice and pleasure (resulting from his volitional obedience to Allaah), and struggling against his self. This is especially true because there were factors complicating the situation which made it all the harder for him. Not only was he young and full of powerful natural desire, he also was unmarried (thus lacking an appropriate way of satisfying those native urges). He was furthermore a stranger in the land with no relatives or friends to be ashamed before (had he fornicated). Moreover, he was a slave, and in servitude one’s moral restraint (wazi’) is not as it is in freedom. Further, the woman (seeking to seduce him) was beautiful, of high status, and his owner, and she tempted him when her husband was out. On top of all this, she threatened him with imprisonment and humiliation if he were not to oblige her. Yet despite all these factors, he was patient out of his own choice, preferring what is with Allaah. How much better it is compared to his patience in the well, wherein he had no choice?”
He [&Ibn Taymiyyah&&] also used to say: “Patience through the performance of righteous acts is better and higher in status than patience in avoiding sins, for the benefit that comes from the performance of a righteous deed is dearer to the Lawgiver (Allaah the Most High) than the benefit that comes from abjuring sin. Likewise, the ill that arises from the absence of righteous obedience is more hateful to Allaah the Most High than the ill that arises from the presence of disobedience.”
He has a treatise in this matter in which he has supported this opinion in 20 different ways, but this is not the occasion to mention them. Our purpose here is to discuss patience, its reality, its levels and ranks. Allaah the Most High alone gives success.
Various ranks of patience
Patience is also of three sorts: Patience by Allaah (billaah), patience for Allaah (lillaah), and patience with Allaah (ma‘allaah).
The first, patience by Allaah, consists in seeking Allaah’s help and seeing Allaah as the source of patience. For the patience of a servant is not in his own power but is his Lord’s gift, as He the Most High Says (what means), “And be patient [O Muhammad], and your patience is not but through Allaah. And do not grieve over them and do not be in distress over what they conspire.” [Quran 16:127].That is to say, if Allah does not give you patience, you shall not be patient.
The second, patience for Allaah, means that the motivation of your patience must he the love of Allaah, the will to seek His pleasure, and nearness to Him——not the desire to exhibit your self-control, to seek the praise of people, or for any other reasons.
The third, patience with Allah, is comprised of the servant’s effort to keep with Allaah’s religious decrees and requirements, in terms of persevering with them, living with them, establishing them, going with them wherever they take one, and stopping wherever they stop. One’s patience with Allaah is to attach the “self” (nafs) to the things Allaah the Most High commands and loves. This is the hardest and most demanding type of patience. It is the patience of the Siddiqoon (those of the highest degree of truthfulness and faithfulness.)
The sage Al-Junayd  said: “The journey from this world to the Hereafter is easy and light for a believer when compared with renouncing people (for their rejection of faith) in front of Allaah, which is hard. The journey from the self to Allaah is harder still.
Yet to be patient with Allaah is the hardest of all. He was asked about patience. So he said: “It is to swallow bitterness without frowning.”
It has also been said that [patience] is “the endurance of the self in attacking adversities.” And also “withstanding a calamity with a good attitude [patience] is like enjoying peace and felicity.”
The elite [worshippers of Allaah] say: “[Patience] is to stand firm on the commandments of the Book and the Sunnah.”
It has been said that the ranks of sabr are five: Saabir, mustabir, mutasabbir, saboor, and sabbaar. The first, saabir, is the most general. Mustabir is of the one who has earned patience and is filled with it. Mutasabbir is of one who forces one’s “self” to it [against all odds]. Saboor is of one whose patience is great in comparison to others. And, finally, sabbaar, is of one who has a great amount of patience— greater than any of the [people meant by these four] earlier [descriptions].
Regarding the words of Allaah, the Most High (which mean): “O you who have believed, persevere and endure and remain stationed and fear Allaah that you may be successful.” [Quran 3:200] —it has been said that this verse proceeds from the easier [and lesser] command to the harder and nobler. This means that sabr is less than musaabara, and musaabara is less than muraabatah.
The word ‘muraabatah’ comes from rabt which means a tie or hold. Someone is called al-muraabit because he ties his horse and waits for the enemy’s assault. Hence, this term has been used for anyone who ties and holds his “self” in discipline and waits for Allaah’s commandments.
The Prophet Muhammad  has said: “Shall I not inform you of that by which Allaah erases sins and raises ranks? Perfecting ablution (wudhou’), even when it is difficult, walking frequently to the mosques, and waiting for a prayer after another [has finished]: That is ribaat! That is ribaat!” (Muslim, Maalik, At-Tirmithi) He  also said: “Waiting patiently for a single day in the path of Allaah is better than this world and all that is in it.” (Al-Bukhaari, Ahmad)

Keep away from enmity The Muslim has a mission in his life, and is required to be effective, active, tolerant and social, mixing with other people and dealing with them with tolerance and in accordance with the worthy Islamic attitudes and behavior. Allaah Almighty Says (what means): "And hold fast, all of you together, to the Rope of Allaah (i.e. the Quran), and be not divided among yourselves, and remember Allaah's Favour on you, for you were enemies one to anther but He joined your hearts together, so that, by His Grace, you became brethren (in Islamic faith), and you were on the brink of a pit of Fire, and He saved you from it…"[Quran 3:103] Wherever the Muslim is found, he becomes a beacon of guidance, and a positive source of correction and education, through both his words and deeds. He has a good attitude towards others and treats them well. He is of good and noble character, friendly, humble, gentle of speech and tactful. He likes others and is liked by them. By doing so, he is following the example of the Prophet as Anas reported that he was: "The best of people in his attitude towards others."[Al-Bukhaari and Muslim] When a quarrel intensifies, when its roots go deeper, its thorns become branches and branches increase in number, then the freshness of the fruits of faith is adversely affected. Softness, sympathy, satisfaction and peace, which are encouraged by the Islamic teachings, receive a setback. Performance of worship loses its righteousness, while the self gets no benefit from it. Many a time mutual quarrels perturb the persons who claim to be wise. When this happens, they take recourse to lowly and superficial things, and sometimes indulge in dangerous acts which only increase difficulties and bring troubles. When a man is displeased, his eyes become prejudiced and ignore the camel and object to gnat. Such eyes do not appreciate the beauty of the peacock, for they only see its ugly feet and claws. If a slight defect is present, it turns the molehill into a mountain. And sometimes the internal rancor and jealousy affect them so badly that no hesitation is felt in inventing imaginary stories. Islam disapproves of all these manifestations of ill-feeling and advises to abstain from them. It declares their avoidance as the most virtuous form of worship. The Prophet said: "Listen, may I tell you something more important than the fasting, the prayer and charity?" The people requested him to do so. He said: "To keep the mutual relationship on the right footing, because the defect in the mutual relationship is a thing which shaves a thing clean. I do not mean that it shaves the hair, but that it shaves (removes) the religion." [At-Tirmithi] Many a time, Satan is not able to persuade wise men to worship idols, but since he is very keen on misguiding and ruining men, he manages to succeed in driving them away from Allaah, so much so that these wise men become more indifferent in respecting the rights of Allaah than the idolaters themselves. The best method adopted by the devil for this purpose is to sow the seeds of enmity in the hearts of the people. When this enmity develops into a fire and open hostilities result, he enjoys the scene. This fire burns man's present and future into ashes and totally destroys their relationship and virtues. The Messenger of Allaah said: "The Satan has been disappointed that he would not be worshipped in the Arabian Peninsula, but he has not been disappointed from kindling the fire of fighting among the people."[Muslim] It means that when wickedness takes roots in the hearts, when people start hating love and brotherhood, and when these are destroyed, people then revert to cruelty and enmity, and break all those relations and links which Allaah has commanded to be kept; thus spreading corruption on this earth. In order to remedy this disease, the most wonderful thing in a quarrel is to forget it as it had never happened, because remembering it will never be a sort of pleasure, while forgetting it will never be harmless, and a good word is stronger than swords and spears. Imaam Ibn Al-Qayyim said: "The origin of the enmity, evil and envy that occurs between people is from the following of Al-Hawaa (the lowly desire). The one who opposes his desire relieves his heart, body and limbs, putting himself to ease and thus relieves others. Abu Bakr Al-Warraak said: "When the desire prevails, the heart turns dark and when it does so, the breast becomes straitened and when that happens, the moral character deteriorates and consequently people will hate him and he will hate them. Then think of the evil, enmity, neglect of rights, etc. that arise from this mutual hatred."

The Muslim has a mission in his life, and is required to be effective, active, tolerant and social, mixing with other people and dealing with them with tolerance and in accordance with the worthy Islamic attitudes and behavior.

Allaah Almighty Says (what means):"And hold fast, all of you together, to the Rope of Allaah (i.e. the Quran), and be not divided among yourselves, and remember Allaah's Favour on you, for you were enemies one to anther but He joined your hearts together, so that, by His Grace, you became brethren (in Islamic faith), and you were on the brink of a pit of Fire, and He saved you from it…"[Quran 3:103]

 

Wherever the Muslim is found, he becomes a beacon of guidance, and a positive source of correction and education, through both his words and deeds.

 

He has a good attitude towards others and treats them well. He is of good and noble character, friendly, humble, gentle of speech and tactful. He likes others and is liked by them. By doing so, he is following the example of the Prophet  as Anas  reported that he was: "The best of people in his attitude towards others."[Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]

 

When a quarrel intensifies, when its roots go deeper, its thorns become branches and branches increase in number, then the freshness of the fruits of faith is adversely affected. Softness, sympathy, satisfaction and peace, which are encouraged by the Islamic teachings, receive a setback.

 

Performance of worship loses its righteousness, while the self gets no benefit from it.

 

Many a time mutual quarrels perturb the persons who claim to be wise. When this happens, they take recourse to lowly and superficial things, and sometimes indulge in dangerous acts which only increase difficulties and bring troubles. When a man is displeased, his eyes become prejudiced and ignore the camel and object to gnat. Such eyes do not appreciate the beauty of the peacock, for they only see its ugly feet and claws. If a slight defect is present, it turns the molehill into a mountain. And sometimes the internal rancor and jealousy affect them so badly that no hesitation is felt in inventing imaginary stories.

 

Islam disapproves of all these manifestations of ill-feeling and advises to abstain from them. It declares their avoidance as the most virtuous form of worship.

 

The Prophet  said: "Listen, may I tell you something more important than the fasting, the prayer and charity?" The people requested him to do so. He  said: "To keep the mutual relationship on the right footing, because the defect in the mutual relationship is a thing which shaves a thing clean. I do not mean that it shaves the hair, but that it shaves (removes) the religion." [At-Tirmithi]

 

Many a time, Satan is not able to persuade wise men to worship idols, but since he is very keen on misguiding and ruining men, he manages to succeed in driving them away from Allaah, so much so that these wise men become more indifferent in respecting the rights of Allaah than the idolaters themselves. The best method adopted by the devil for this purpose is to sow the seeds of enmity in the hearts of the people. When this enmity develops into a fire and open hostilities result, he enjoys the scene. This fire burns man's present and future into ashes and totally destroys their relationship and virtues.

 

The Messenger of Allaah  said: "The Satan has been disappointed that he would not be worshipped in the Arabian Peninsula, but he has not been disappointed from kindling the fire of fighting among the people."[Muslim]

 

It means that when wickedness takes roots in the hearts, when people start hating love and brotherhood, and when these are destroyed, people then revert to cruelty and enmity, and break all those relations and links which Allaah has commanded to be kept; thus spreading corruption on this earth.

 

In order to remedy this disease, the most wonderful thing in a quarrel is to forget it as it had never happened, because remembering it will never be a sort of pleasure, while forgetting it will never be harmless, and a good word is stronger than swords and spears.

 

Imaam Ibn Al-Qayyim said: "The origin of the enmity, evil and envy that occurs between people is from the following of Al-Hawaa (the lowly desire). The one who opposes his desire relieves his heart, body and limbs, putting himself to ease and thus relieves others. Abu Bakr Al-Warraak said: "When the desire prevails, the heart turns dark and when it does so, the breast becomes straitened and when that happens, the moral character deteriorates and consequently people will hate him and he will hate them. Then think of the evil, enmity, neglect of rights, etc. that arise from this mutual hatred."  

Remembering Often the Ender of Pleasures

You’re sitting comfortably on the sofa watching your favorite television show with your favorite person. Your laughter abruptly stops and you're spellbound as your eyes hold an image you've never seen before. And before you can say anything, your eyes are forever closed as your soul is torn away from your body.
Are you ready to meet your Lord?
The angel of death can come knocking on your door as an uninvited guest at any time and without a moment's notice.
You can't turn off the lights and pretend not to be home, for even if you do, he'll find a way in.
You'll be hauled back to the One who Created you, ready or not. Whether you're an ambitious youth with dreams and hopes about the future, or a wise elder with fond memories of the past, death is inevitable and its arrival is unknown to you.
So it only makes sense that every breath of ours should be spent in the worship of the One who has granted these breaths because none of us know which breath will be our last.
You may ask, how can I constantly be in a state of worship? Simple answer, though difficult to follow at times: Live life in accordance with the Quran and the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad .
It's all about the intentions, and the sincerity of those intentions. The Prophet  has said: "Deeds result only from the intentions of the actor. And an individual is rewarded only according to that which he intends."[Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]
Take the simple act of eating for example.
If done with the intention of nourishing our bodies in order to worship our Lord, it becomes an act of worship itself. Imagine that, something as enjoyable as eating can gather up good deeds for you.
Of course you would want to keep the eating in check though! Take a sip of water with the name of Allaah while sitting, in small amounts, and then thank Him Almighty after, and the number of good deeds keeps adding up.
Just the same, the routines of our daily grind can all become acts of worship when we do them to refine our intentions and by emulating the example of our beloved Prophet .
When working to constantly be conscious of Allaah, The Most High, having that Taqwa (piety) and simply being aware that He The Most High is watching over us at every moment will help us keep ourselves from doing anything that would bring the displeasure of Allaah Almighty.
Knowing that death can come to us at the precise moment you decided to look just once more at the sister across the room will help us keep our gaze lowered.
Remembering death does something else too. It forces us to realize the reality of this world. It too will come to an end one day.
Life in this world is temporary and merely a means for us to fulfill the reason why we were created in the first place: To worship the One true God, Allaah alone. Realizing this truth, enables us to live as a traveler as the Prophet  taught us.
And if we were to die unexpectedly, what about those kids from high school that you once fought with over something you can't even remember now and severed ties with them? Or that cousin that you haven't talked to in ages because they didn't come to your wedding!
The Prophet Muhammad  has said: "When the believers cross [the traverse over] Hellfire, they will be stopped at a small arched bridge, Qantarah, before entering the Garden, and will be given retribution for injustices between them until they become purified. Then they will be permitted to enter Jannah or Paradise. So, by the One in Whose Hands is my soul, they will know their way to their homes in Jannah, better than they know their ways to their homes in this world." [Al-Bukhaari]
Thus, Al-Qantarah is a small bridge after the Siraat (the Traverse) that the believers will have to cross before entering Jannah (Paradise). Allaah, the All-Mighty, will ask the believers to settle their issues here, right in front of the gates of the Paradise. And your good deeds will continue to go to the person you've wronged till they forgive you, and if you run out of good deeds, their bad deeds will go over to you.
Now, is that fight really worth it?
My dearest readers; do yourself a favor today. Save yourself while you're still a traveler in this world and reconcile with the folks you know you need to.
Send your apologies. Free yourself of this burden and save yourself before it's too late.
Let us all prepare to meet our Lord, before the Angel of Death comes to meet us.